I think this one stands on its own:
I have some incredibly good news. It's really some of the best news I've heard. It has to do with the economy, and how bad the economy is. And it's wonderful news.
There's a foundation in Florida. I forget the name now. And they had a billion dollars. And they took their billion dollars, and they invested it with Bernie Madoff, a guy on Wall Street. And they lost every single nickel. This is incredibly wonderful thing to have happen, because this foundation spent their money on one thing. And that was funding Planned Parenthood.
Who knew the biggest scam in Wall Street history could be so awesome?