1 In the beginning, Romney created pain and poverty upon the Earth by invalidating Obama care.
2 And the health care industry flourished, and darkness fell across the land. And the Spirit of Conservatism moved upon the face of Washington.
3 And Romney said, Let us privatize Social Security and Medicare and public education, and it was so.
4 And the evening and the morning were the first day.
5 And Romney said, Let there be a mighty ideological divide, and he parted the nation into conservatives and liberals. And Romney called the wealthy conservatives “job creators,” and the liberals he called evil socialists.
6 And Romney said, Let there be less regulating of polluters and plutocrats, and it was so.
7 And the evening and the morning were the second day.
8 And Romney said, Let there be more outsourcing of jobs to China and India in keeping with the will of Wall Street, and it was so.
9 When the Tea Party brought forth more demands, Romney said, Let there be fewer fire fighters, police, and teachers, that the greedy might have more gold in their storehouses.
10 And the evening and the morning were the third day.
11 And Romney created “Gun Appreciation Day” by executive order and decreed that the national holiday be observed with the firing of weaponry throughout the land, and it was so.
12 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
13 And Romney created a great depletion of middle-class wealth and vast unemployment fell upon the people, and there was much moaning among the poor and destitute.
14 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
15 And Romney blessed the corporate moguls, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and ravage the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, the resources of the planet, the air of the heavens, the workers of the fields and factories, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
16 And Romney looked upon all that he had created, and, behold, it was very good for the top one percent.
17And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
18 And on the seventh day Romney rested from the devastation his hand had wrought throughout the land.